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Fifth Column 6:16 Mon Aug 20
Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

First half sat in front row of East Stand by the corner flag. Behind me there were a young Japanese/Chinese couple (no, I'm not sure which)... they were talking a lot and her going to buy popcorn and then coming back etc. When Bournemouth were through in first half the bloke shouts "SHOOT" at the top of his voice [actually he shouted SHOT but you could tell what he meant]... bearing in mind this is in our "standing" block I thought he might get a clump. I think everyone realised he hadn't a clue what was going on and just wanted to see a goal from either team.

Went up to sit with family second half at the back of 133... family of Yanks ahead of us, mum and daughter started discussing the penalty shoot out that would take place at the end if the match remained 1v1.

To be fair, they were all better than the West Ham supporting dads sitting behind me with their sprogs the first season at the stadium when the kids clearly didn't want to be there and spent each match bored shitless and being increasingly annoying...

Any funny tourist stories at the football? At least the Yanks talking was more entertaining than the poxy football in the second half...

eusebiovic 6:30 Mon Aug 20
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

I was in a pub in the Old Kings Head off Borough High Street a while back and overheard two yanks suggesting that if London had just one or two football teams at the most it would be the most lucrative franchise in the world.

That pub used to be largely Millwall...At that particular moment I kind of wished that it still was!

BRANDED 7:03 Mon Aug 20
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Dad's with bored kids is very annoying. Kids shouldnt be st soccer.

😉

Johnson 8:30 Mon Aug 20
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

I refuse to believed this happens. All 52k STHs and match day attendees are die-hard West Ham fans, apart from the away end.

None are tourists, daytrippers or fans of other clubs.

Stop lying and go and support the Ys if you hate West Ham that much.

Sven Roeder 8:51 Mon Aug 20
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Overheard an exasperated Dad telling his confused kid (maybe 6 or 7) on the walk (trudge) to the ground that he HAD been to the ground before.
Kid wasn’t convinced (WASTED TICKET, OBVS).
Kid then asked if Man City were playing

Briano 10:46 Mon Aug 20
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

2 Planks sitting next to me, Hernandez scored and one turned to me and said ' hey we're American and Mexico are our biggest rivals...we really didn't want him to score'

mashed in maryland 10:53 Mon Aug 20
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

There was a really smelly bloke a few years ago who used to go to all the away games (someone once even started a thread asking if he posted on here), he had a beard and loads of lumps in his head. I can only assume the people with him were his carers, but they all used to end up sitting behind me and came out with some crackers sometimes.

Can't think of any in particular at the moment except once when one of them said after half time "oooh have we changed sides then?" and they all had a really confused sounding conversation about it for a while.

SurfaceAgentX2Zero 11:01 Mon Aug 20
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Sven Roeder 8:51 Mon Aug 20

If you don't take your kid(s) to football, how on Earth are you going to teach your kids to defend themselves against the Man U/Chelsea/Liverpool tossers at school?

You entirely remove, 'Yeah, well we might be a bit shit at the moment, but at least I fucking go, Wanker', from their armoury.

It's simple good parenting. I'm disappointed to have to pull you up on this.

Sven Roeder 11:14 Mon Aug 20
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

It just made me laugh
The Dad was doing his best but the kid was unresponsive.

And possibly a bit dim.

Cheezey Bell-End 3:20 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Not a tourist, but I heard a Bournemouth fan saying 'this is a difficult place to get a point'..

LeroysBoots 8:31 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Heard at the LONDON Stadium lastcseafon, 2 Yanks said

"What time are the relays on?"

Some of that might not be true !

LeroysBoots 8:31 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Fucking typing on a phone !

The Libertine 9:18 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Fifth Column 6:16 Mon Aug 20

Are you sure the chinese bloke didnt mean, someone take out a gun and shoot the fucker before he scores, as it our only way of defending and keeping the score line decent? Added benefit is that it will force the opposition to use a sub.

cholo 9:25 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Northern Sold is right :modern football IS shit.

AKA ERNIE 9:30 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

never seen or heard one yet in the bml

Mace66 9:33 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Surface 11.01

A kid going West Ham to watch games gets absolutely zero credit for actually going from his school peers. It’s simply a trigger for more abuse from the ManU, Spurs, Liverpool, City, Chelsea, Bournemouth etc brigade.

“yea we may have lost 4-0 but at least I went to the game”

“You poor cunt”

Rossal 9:35 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Think the first season at the OS....American tourists turned up 10 mins in to the game.....big fuss getting to their seats with large backpacks etc.....sit down then after 30 seconds hear this American girl ask the group

'So which one is West Ham'

Grumpster 9:49 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Good luck to the tourists, the poor stadium would be half full without them, with the likes of me around who are unlikely to ever go to a home game again.

But yeah none of them have got a fucking clue what's going on basically.

In the 4 games I did go to when we first moved there, did like the chap calling out the name of an ex-player we had who had left about 2 years before.

I would say he was an utter cock or a racist who thinks that all black fellas look the same, though the seats are so far from the pitch where we were, that he probably just didn't have a scoobie!

stewie griffin 9:55 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Don't mind the tourists, they're unashamedly touristy and aren't doing any harm.
The pretend football fans irritate the shit out of me. Had two blokes going on about how they think Bournemouth's best player is Andre Gray for about 15 minutes on Saturday.

goose 10:42 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

“England played a back 4 at italia ‘90”

Fifth Column 10:48 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Grumpster. First season at OS my seat was literally right at the back of the upper tier.

I always laugh at fans who can't recognise their own fans.

I spent 30 minutes thinking Kouyate was Obiang. It's true - it's so far from the pitch you've got no idea who the fuck people are.

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